by laura dodd - link therapies
At Link Therapies, we often meet families eager to support their child’s communication and developmental goals—but what if the first step isn’t speech or language at all?
We’re all familiar with Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a framework describing how humans must first satisfy basic needs (like food and safety) before achieving growth and learning. But what happens when we apply this model through the lens of emotional regulation and therapy?
Let’s take a look at the adapted version—Maslow’s Hierarchy of Regulation.
The Hierarchy of Regulation
At its core, this model highlights that without physiological needs, safety, and connection, a child cannot access higher-level functions like language learning, emotional regulation, or problem-solving. The levels include:
Physiological Needs: Sleep, hunger, hydration, sensory balance.
Safety Needs: Predictable routines, safe environments, consistency.
Connection & Co-Regulation: Trusting relationships, responsive caregivers, emotional attunement.
Self-Esteem & Capability: Confidence, skill-building, independence.
Self-Actualization: Reaching one’s potential, creativity, purpose.
In our work with speech and ABA therapy clients, this hierarchy is a reminder that we must meet a child’s foundational needs first—especially emotional regulation—before introducing new language or academic concepts.
What This Means in Therapy
If a child is dysregulated—melting down, overwhelmed, or emotionally shut down—it isn’t time for flashcards or therapy activities. It’s time for co-regulation.
Co-regulation is the process of an adult helping a child calm their nervous system through presence, tone, and empathy. Only when the child feels safe and connected can they access their thinking brain, which is where learning and language live.
As we often say:
“A dysregulated child isn’t being difficult – they’re asking for support. When we meet their needs, we unlock their potential.”
Follow the Child's Lead: Interest-Driven Language Learning
Once a child is regulated, engagement is the next step toward communication. One of the most effective ways to support language development is by following the child’s lead—observing what they’re interested in and joining them there.
This often begins with play.
Play is defined as a self-chosen, enjoyable activity that is internally motivated and process-oriented rather than outcome-driven. It’s how children explore the world, connect with others, and learn new concepts—including language.
And importantly, there is no “right way” to play. Some children line up toys. Some act out elaborate pretend stories. Others may explore materials by spinning, sorting, or carrying them. All of these are valid expressions of play—and all offer opportunities for interaction and communication when approached with curiosity and respect.
When we present activities that are meaningful and motivating to the child, we build connection and open the door to learning. In contrast, if a child is focused on trying to escape or avoid an activity they don’t enjoy, their brain is in survival mode—not learning mode.
By respecting a child’s preferences and honoring their autonomy, we create an emotionally safe environment where communication can naturally emerge. Whether it’s playing with trains, reading favorite books, or spinning in a chair—every interest is an opportunity for connection and language.
Why Regulation is Step One for Communication
For children with communication delays or social difficulties, behavior often serves as their primary form of expression. When a child hits, runs, or withdraws, we don’t view it as defiance—we understand it as their way of expressing discomfort or dissatisfaction with the situation.
And before we can expect language, we must first restore safety, offer connection, and co-regulate. This is where our integrated team approach shines—our therapists collaborate to meet a child where they are, supporting both speech and behavior through a lens of regulation and trust.
Supporting the Whole Child at Link Therapies
At Link Therapies, we provide:
Our services are grounded in the philosophy that learning and language flourish when a child feels safe, seen, and supported.
References
Hopper, E. (2024, May 14). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs explained. ThoughtCo. Read here
McLeod, S. A. (2021, December 29). Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Simply Psychology. Read here
Mind Is the Master. (n.d.). The 5 levels of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs explained. Read here
“Very happy with all of the speech sessions. Our therapist was always willing to answer and explain any questions I had in a way I could easily understand. She worked with me on the goals we focused on and really listened to my concerns. Most importantly my daughter LOVED seeing and “playing” with her each week.”